The dark, monsters under the bed, loud hand dryers in public restrooms… some kids have typical, unsurprising fears, while others get more creative when it comes to the things that scare them most.
Parents, then, can expect the unexpected when it comes to the thing that sends kids sprinting into their beds in the middle of the night — and maybe even a touch of nostalgia. There’s something undeniably sweet about living in a world where the worst thing imaginable is a dog’s growl or a siren’s shriek.
Here, some of X (formerly Twitter)’s wisest and funniest parents comment on the things that kids fear.
You should comfort and reassure your child when they’re scared of monsters at night instead of secretly putting your old Furby in their closet and waiting for it to start singing to itself at 2 AM… I know this now
— The Dad (@thedad) October 10, 2022
Welcome to parenthood. You want your kids to get over their irrational fear of Roombas even though you have an irrational fear of bedroom ceiling fans.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) May 21, 2022
My kids were scared of flies so I told them we have a pet fly named Bub (who is every fly). It was only a matter of time before my 6yo found an almost-dead-but-not-quite-dead fly & declared that she tamed Bub & now I don’t know how to get my child to stop cradling a dying fly… pic.twitter.com/lpW3eOOveL
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) June 13, 2023
One thing they never tell you about being pregnant while also taking care of a toddler is that literally every activity outside your house is severely limited by the fact that you have to go to the bathroom approximately 736 times per day, & toddlers are afraid of public toilets
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) December 30, 2022
I’m stuck under my daughter who couldn’t fall asleep because she’s afraid of the Grinch but if I can’t escape she will be waking up on top of the real thing.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 27, 2022
My 6-year-old told me that her best friend is afraid of movies, which I took to mean “scary movies,” but she clarified that the girl is just generally freaked out by the concept of the motion picture.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) December 23, 2023
My 2yo’s paralyzing fear of winged insects has made summer extra fun.
— hahahaheater ❄️🌨️☃️ (@dishs_up) August 19, 2019
8 just said she’s not afraid of La Llorona because she doesn’t live in Mexico 😂
Oh my sweet summer child she can get you ANYWHERE!
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) August 6, 2019
Kid #1: “I’m scared of monsters.”
*spend 45 min. hugging & comforting*
Kid #6:”I’m scared of monsters.”
Me: “Eh, the cat’ll get them. G’night!”
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 20, 2022
What they tell you: Establishing a bedtime routine for your children is important for teaching healthy sleep habits.
What they don’t tell you: Bed time routine may include videos of how slow lava flows because your 5yo is afraid of a volcanic eruption in the middle of the night.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) January 5, 2022
This afternoon, 7 was sharing what he’s afraid of. The things that made the list included spiders, heights, and evil skeleton Santa’s that live underground.
As if I needed anything else keeping me awake at night.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) February 21, 2022
3yo was going to help my husband clean up leaves, but he’s afraid of the leaf blower, so he’s “helping” by watching through the window with a snack cup.
Maternity confirmed.
— Some Boys’ Mother (@someboysmother) October 28, 2019
9: I’m scared to fly what if the plane crashes?
Me: You’re more likely to crash in a car than a plane.
9: Now I’m scared of driving.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) December 14, 2023
Me: Take this to your room.
5yo: But I’m scared of my room.
Husband: The only thing scary in your room is your dirty underwear.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) December 10, 2023
I wish my kids were as scared of me as that bug that is the size of a grain of rice.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 5, 2021
“I’M SCARED OF EVERYTHING!!”
– My 4-year-old, clearly having an existential crisis.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) July 8, 2023
Please explain to me preteen boys and their fear of outerwear.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) November 29, 2023
11: Did you know that Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words?
~my kid stating the obvious.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 20, 2023
I just tried to explain to 3 that we’re not afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of me. He laughed at me, then continued being afraid of the dark.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) January 24, 2022
3yo spent the whole morning telling me she is scared of skin rings. I was like, I don’t know what that is but it does sound scary!
Sting rays. She means sting rays. (also scary fwiw)
— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) March 30, 2022
[5 AM]
My 4-year-old: Good morning!
Me: So the whole “afraid of the dark” thing only happens at night, huh?
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) May 17, 2022
It’s an hour and a half past bedtime and there is a nude toddler standing in my bedroom, feigning fear of the cat.
— hahahaheater ❄️🌨️☃️ (@dishs_up) December 15, 2019
Me: do you feel differently now that you’re 6?
6: I feel less afraid of things now
Me: so you can watch TV alone and sleep in your room without your sister?
6: wellllll maybe I’ll need to be like 8 or 10 to do that
— Doc McMuffins (@Cynical_Parent) January 26, 2023
My 6yo is afraid of the Pixar lamp because it “murders the ‘I’ and then looks at us angry.” pic.twitter.com/gPUPGf4Bql
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) December 22, 2020
My 3yo was afraid of bees and my reassurance that they won’t hurt her didn’t help. But then her 7yo brother, without looking up from killing Roblox zombies, said “the bees gather around you because you’re sweet like a flower” and now she’s not afraid of bees.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) June 5, 2023
6-year-old: Do you know what I’m afraid of?
Me: What?
6: Nothing.
She’s ready for today.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 15, 2021
My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) July 19, 2023
4-yr-old at 2 a.m.: Mommy I’m scared of my room! I need to sleep with you!
Brain: This never ends well.
Heart: You’re going to miss this one day.
*4 climbs into bed*
3 a.m. – 7 a.m.: *4 Strategically places knees and feet on my back*
Me: The fuck was I thinking??#momlife— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) July 25, 2018
Daughter: dada I’m scared of the dark.
Me: oh honey the dark’s more scared of you than you are of it.
Daughter:
Me: [turns off light] goodnight.
The Dark: oh shit oh shit where’d that creepy little girl go?
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) April 10, 2019
Abortion should be legal because nobody should have to be a parent if they don’t absolutely want to. It’s literally so hard. Today my toddler refused to get dressed bc he said he was “scared of pants”.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) May 4, 2022
Me: teases my kids for being scared of Jaws.
Also me: screams when seaweed touches my ankle while wading at the beach.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 5, 2018
Do I never vacuum because my toddler is afraid of it, or is she afraid of the vacuum because I never use it?
The world may never know.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) September 12, 2023
my 4-year-old was staring at me and said he was scared of “all the weird red lines” on my eyeballs and now i’m trying to decide whether or not to tell him that he and his brother are responsible for my lack of sleep, aka weird red eyeballs
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) March 28, 2022
Son: Dad, there’s a spider in my room!
Me: He’s more afraid of you than you are of him
Son: Can you get rid of him?
Me: No because I’m like ten times more afraid of him than he is of you
— The Dad (@thedad) October 23, 2023
“I’m not afraid of the dark I’m just afraid a monster is going to pop up out of nowhere”
-my 7yo acting cool in front of her new friend— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 12, 2023
2yo told me she’s afraid of the Tooth Fairy and when I asked why she said “Because she has hands” and honestly when you put it that way yeah that’s terrifying
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) September 27, 2022
My 3yo is afraid of Santa Claus and does not want him to come to our house. So I told him I would tell Santa not to come, and he thanked me with tears in his eyes.
Did I do it? Did I just win the parenting lottery?
— Some Boys’ Mother (@someboysmother) November 12, 2019
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