33 New Year’s Jokes to Tickle Your Kids’ Funny Bone


Ring in 2022 with laughter as you celebrate with sparkling cider and New Year’s jokes with your family. Humor teaches children to be in the moment. Jokes are a terrific way to work on memorization and performance skills. Your children will not even know they are practicing public speaking at a young age.


You and your children can work on memorizing a dozen jokes to put on a New Year’s comedy show filled with fun. Dress up in silly outfits or formal attire and start a new tradition as you perform a New Year’s Eve comedy routine for the neighbors. Not to mention children’s New Year’s jokes let you just enjoy being silly as you embrace the quality time with your children.  

Table of Contents

New Year’s Jokes About Animals

Children love animals. They love making animal sounds. New Year’s jokes about animals will win big with your kiddos. Get ready for giggles.

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  • Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve? It’s too far to walk.
  • What’s a cow’s favorite night of the year? Moo Year’s Eve.
  • What was the caterpillar’s New Year’s resolution? To turn over a new leaf.
Read More: A Unique New Year’s Eve for Kids: Celebrating at Noon
  • What do cows say on New Year’s Eve? Happy moo year.
  • What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve? Hogs and kisses.
  • What do dogs say on New Year’s Eve? Woof.
  • What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day? Hoppy New Year!
  • Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve? Because it’s too far to walk.

Countdown to New Year’s Jokes

You could countdown the hours to midnight with New Year’s jokes on the hour or the half hour. Be sure to use funny voices and wear different hats each hour the clock creeps closer to midnight.

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  • Who gets the most excited about the New Year’s Eve countdown? Calendar companies.
  • What happened to the woman who stole a calendar on New Year’s Eve? She got 12 months!
Read More: 3 New Year’s Resolution Ideas That You Can Achieve
  • Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve. It’s December 31st.
  • What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve? Social Security.
  • Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer? To start off the new year in a cool way.
  • What did Dad say at 11:59 p.m. on New Year’s Eve? I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year.
  • Why was 6 afraid of 9 on New Year’s Eve? Because 9 “ate” 7 …

New Year’s Jokes About Resolutions

Does anyone actually keep their New Year’s resolutions for all 365 days? Of course, there are pleny of New Year’s jokes about New Year’s resolutions because so many people set big goals, but 365 days is a long time. It’s much easier to crack New Year’s jokes.

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  • What’s the easiest New Year’s resolution to keep? To be yourself.  
  • What is a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
  • Why did the young man decide not to quit all his bad habits for the new year? He remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
Read More: 10 of the Best Crockpot Recipes to Make Getting Dinner on the Table Easier than Ever
  • At the beginning of the year I made a New Year’s resolution to lose 10 pounds … Only 15 more to go!
  • How do you make sure you do not break your New Year’s Resolution? Make your New Year’s resolution to break your New Year’s resolution.

New Year’s Jokes About New York

No matter where you live, at one time or another, you probably rang in the New Year watching the festivities in Times Square in New York City on TV. It’s a part of our culture, which makes it fair game for New Year’s jokes.

New Year Joke Fireworks
  • Where is New Year’s Eve most mathematical? Times Square.
  • Why does the man who runs Time’s Square on New Year’s Eve feel like a failure? He always drops the ball.
  • What group hates New Year’s Day? The New Year’s Eve clean-up crew.
  • Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year’s Eve? Times Square.

New Year’s Jokes for Everyone

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  • What did the girl say to her mum on New Year’s Day? I haven’t seen you since last year.
  • In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas? Every year.
  • Where can you find comedians at a New Year’s Eve party? In the punch line.
  • Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve? To ring in the new year.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie going to stay up until midnight, you look tired already.
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  • What do ghosts say on New Year’s Eve? Happy boo year.
  • Why are there so many vampires out on New Year’s Eve? For old fangs time.
  • Why does nobody listen to each other on New Year’s Eve? Because their words go in one year and out the other.
  • What’s the luckiest band on New Year’s Day? Black-Eyed Peas.

New Year’s jokes let us laugh as we hope for a healthy, prosperous 2022 with our family, friends, community, and country. Slow down as we move closer to the new year. Take time to smile, take time to soak up the little moments with your children, family, and friends. Take time to laugh as you share hilarious New Year’s jokes with everyone as you brighten their day with smiles, belly laughs, groans, and snickers.  


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