Bringing home a newborn is never easy. In fact, from the moment a couple decides they want to have a baby, rumbles can start. Some couples can really struggle to have a baby, and when they do, they are elated. Then a woman goes through pregnancy, which can take a toll on her and her relationships. Then there is childbirth, which can be long and extremely painful and now there is a small baby that mom has to take care of. While a lot of emphasis is placed on women, men can struggle with this journey as well.
Partners may be confused about what is happening, and not know how to help their partner whom they see struggling. They are also trying to adjust to the feelings of being a new father, and also have a baby to care for. All of this stress can take a toll on a couple, and by the time the baby comes, they both may decide that the best thing to do is to part ways. While this may not be easy, especially when a new baby has just arrived, it may be the best possible thing to make sure the baby has a safe and happy home, even if their parents are separated.
It Is Normal
It is important to know that this is common, and there are a lot of couples who start to fight more after a baby has arrived. According to The New York Times, there have been multiple studies done that show that marital satisfaction drops when a baby is welcomed. However, this is different for each could, and while not all part ways, some of them do.
Marriages also do not end right when the baby comes. According to Good To, a fifth of couples break up in their child’s first year of life. If you are thinking of ending your relationship, it may be helpful to know that you are not alone and that a lot of couples go through this when they have a newborn. While it may never be easy, there are ways to make it as soft on you as possible.
Ducks In A Row
Now that a baby is involved, ending a relationship does get a bit trickier. According to Professional Counselling, while it may seem cold, you may need to have a lawyer on hand just to help you work out the legalities of splitting when there is a child involved. Communication with the partner is also going to be key, and it is important to remain calm and remember that this is your child’s other parent, and it is going to be key to make sure that you two can remain amicable going forward.
It is also important to accept that some parts of this are likely going to be painful. If your partner has no idea this is coming, then they may be shocked and stunned at first and they may respond out of anger or sadness. One of the first things you need to settle on when separating is a schedule for custody. When a baby is a newborn, this can be difficult as the mother may be providing the feeds. Working together to create a schedule that works for your family is going to be the main priority. It is also important to be honest with your partner and let them know how you are feeling. However, it is also important to remember that you have to let them be honest with you as well.
One More Try
If you have gotten to the end of this article and you are thinking that you want to give it another try before calling it quits, there are some strategies you can try. According to NHS, communication is the best way to get through this. Talk to your partner, tell them what you need and how they can help. If you feel like you are being neglected, or your partner is not helping as you think they should keep in mind that they just may not know what they should do, or what you need from them. Keeping communication open is key.
Another thing to try is finding a trusted family member or friend that you can leave your baby with for a couple of hours. If you can, and this can be hard with a new baby, it is important to spend some time alone with your partner. Even if you don’t go out of the house, time alone in another part of the house, away from a crying baby, can do magic.
Sources: The New York Times, Good To, Professional Counselling, NHS
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