There are many sacred rituals in the world of parenting, such as dropping off your child at school.
What nonparents might assume to be a simple transport and farewell process can actually be a time-consuming, complicated mess. That’s especially true in the age of COVID safety protocols.
As with other child-rearing topics, the funny parents of Twitter like to vent their frustrations about the school drop-off experience. We’ve rounded up 35 of their tweets below.
If you don’t pick your pajamas based on whether or not you can wear them to kindergarten drop off in the morning, you’re working harder, not smarter.
— Marissa 💚🍃💛 (@michimama75) September 27, 2021
Commute to school – 3 minutes
Wait in the drop off line – 3-4 business days.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) August 24, 2021
I like to yell I love you really loud when I drop off my 10-year-old at school. By the way she rolls her eyes I think she really enjoys it.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 8, 2021
I will connect my car to the bumper of the car in front of me before I let you cut in the school drop off line.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) March 2, 2018
I can’t believe I have to say this but there’s no prize for being first in the kids school drop off line. You don’t need to get there 45 mins earlier to show everyone how awesome a parent you are. Let someone else be first, like I don’t know, a Dad who’s 12 mins late everyday.
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) September 30, 2021
I’m now 100% convinced that the Mad Max concept is based on school parking lots during drop off.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) October 24, 2019
Sweet chit chat.
Multiple I love you’s.
These life moments are NOT for the school drop off line.
Let’s move it, people.
— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) August 31, 2018
May your kids find both shoes, the drop off lines be short and your coffee stay hot
– Back to school prayer
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) August 17, 2021
Cheers to sunglasses and knotless braids for helping me look like a normal person at drop-off.
— Adanna (@RattlesandHeels) September 22, 2021
The elementary school drop off line does not fill me with hope for our society.
— Rachel Vindman (@natsechobbyist) August 31, 2021
Me: Do you like it better when I drop you off at school or when you take the bus?
9-year-old: The bus.
9: The bus has my friends. Your van just has you.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 3, 2021
To the mom in the dropoff line who SPRINTED over to me to yell that I’m not allowed to get out my car to help my kids put their 100 lb backpack in the car:
Maybe it’s time to switch to decaf
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 28, 2021
School drop off me and school pick up me are not the same person
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) August 30, 2021
I waited so long to embarrass my 6th grader at school drop off and today she replied, “I love you too, Momma!” and then KISSES ME in front of all of her friends! Like, omg, I can’t even!
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) September 24, 2021
I cannot be held responsible for the things I say in the carpool drop off.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 16, 2015
Today is the first day of school for my kids. They only go for 2 hrs. I get to drop them off, go home to use the bathroom and then go back to pick them up.
— Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) September 7, 2021
[school drop off]
Me: Have a good day.
6-year-old: You can’t make me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 10, 2020
I’m just a mom,
waiting in the carline,
hoping I don’t pee my pants.
— Foxy Wine Pocket (@FoxyWinePocket) January 20, 2016
Best part about school drop-off is the number of 5’2″ moms* with no depth perception** commandeering huge SUVs***
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) September 27, 2016
Sometimes I’m up in time to make scrambled eggs for the dogs and other times we’re rolling through the drop off line with bowls of lap cereal, and unfortunately for my family there is no in between.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 24, 2021
Reading messages from a friend asking how drop off on the first day of school went hits different when you’re reading them in the wine aisle.
— Marissa 💚🍃💛 (@michimama75) August 30, 2021
3 invited everyone at school drop off to his birthday party on Sunday.
It is not his birthday.
There is no party.
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) October 8, 2019
Me: nothing can possibly test your patience more than being stuck at home with kids for 6 months
Leaving the house with kids for 8am school drop off: HAHAHAHAHAHAH
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) September 15, 2020
I thought I’d be a sobbing mess after school drop-off but turns out after 18 months of hell I’m completely numb to emotion
— amil (@amil) September 9, 2021
If you think I won’t wear an oversized hoodie instead of a bra for school drop off, I’d like to thank you for your misplaced faith in me.
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) November 6, 2017
My apologies to the 18 cars behind us at the school drop off line, but my six-year-old needed to finish telling his story.
— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) March 1, 2019
Remind your kids they have the cool mom by blasting ‘Electric Avenue’ at school drop-off without forgetting a single lyric.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) February 28, 2018
My husband is helping me relax by taking the kids to school this morning. We went over the drop off procedure 37 times and he just left without one of the kids.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) October 24, 2019
If you can’t point to the hot mess at school drop off, it might be you.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) August 17, 2017
Saw a kid at school drop off wearing one of those huge inflatable dinosaur costumes. Best wishes to their teacher.
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) October 29, 2021
There’s no room in my heart for hate. The Elementary School parking lot and everyone in it took that space long ago.
— Burning Mom (@MomOnFire) January 20, 2017
Every day is “Pajama Day” for me at my kids’ school drop off.
— Marl (@Marlebean) March 1, 2018
Thought it was weird that we weren’t running late, then at preschool drop-off I realized my kid wasn’t wearing shoes. Mystery solved.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 23, 2016